Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Preparations and Bonding

We are at T Minus 10 weeks, 4 days today.


Last weekend we bought the Cot and mattress for our baby from Babies-r-Us in Hove and various other smaller items. However the Cot somehow seemed a big milestone in the process of preparation. This was a cot bed and is potentially the item our child will sleep in for some years. For me and I think my wife, it was a really big deal and somehow made the whole thing seem more real. I don’t have the constant reminder with me like my beautiful pregnant wife does. So these decisions and purchases bring home the reality that, God willing, we will have a baby to look after in a few weeks time.

That may seem weird but we go through our daily lives, getting on with what we have to get on with and dare I say it you forget how your life is about to drastically change in ways I simply cannot imagine.


Given that we only have around 10 weeks to go and possibly far sooner, my wife has a wonderfully developing bump, Or Model bump according to the Midwife. The baby is moving, kicking, punching and this can be visibly seen. At first I found this to be quite weird when I felt the baby kick for the first time weeks ago. Now I really like it and find it exciting and cute.

It confirms to me they are alive and kicking so to speak and here lies something I realised today triggered by a horrific news story and from a TV program. I already feel a huge amount of love and an enormous desire to protect my child from harm. They are already embedded in my heart as part of me. I get anxious when the baby is not moving about, much to the annoyance of my wife. I say hello to the bump and hope my child recognises my voice when born.

Goodness knows what I will be like when they are born. I really don’t want to be an over protective Dad. I am overprotective of my Cats let alone a child. I believe a child needs to learn by doing and making mistakes along the way. All part of the learning to be a parent process that I hope to be making in a few months.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Antenatal Class…. Done!

We reached, what to me anyway, is a milestone this week. We had our Antenatal Class. Where we live this is done over a Saturday in a single shot rather than split over several evenings.

It was one of those awkward ‘lets put a load of strangers together and talk about some personal things’ type day. There were mostly couples there, with one exception, which was good to see. Maybe I expected less men to turn up. Anyway we all sat in a big semi circle and had to introduce ourselves and when our due date was and if we wanted the baby to come early or late. Since due date is 26th December I think I want the baby to arrive late so we can have our last Christmas together as just a couple and without having to travel anywhere etc…

Anyway the class itself was for me quite informative. I being a man, want to know all the information in advance so I know what to do, how to help and apparently crucially when to shut up. This I am told is important, because a woman in labour goes through a grumpy phase and at this point it is wise to say little except give encouragement. I could make an outrageous comment here but I won’t!

Overall I think it was very helpful for me. I cannot and would not speak for my lovely wife. The crucial thing for me is when is the correct time to drive the 45 minutes to the Hospital so that we don’t get sent home again? This was not altogether clear but should be fairly obvious. I am not convinced!

We had to sit through a couple of DVD’s as well which were frankly Horrific and laughable in that order. The first one clearly was an NHS hint to not have an Epidural and the second I simply cannot say because it is ridiculous.

I found the opening question of the whole day to be the funniest ‘How many of you think that giving birth will hurt’? Everyone puts their hand up! Then after trying to convince us that actually the body is designed to do this and pain is caused by the woman being stressed and creating hormones that go against the other hormones,or something like that. Apparently it is not pain it is ‘intensity’ at various levels. Then after trying to convince everyone she asked the question again and no one put their hand up. I guarantee everyone still thought it would flippin hurt, they were just too polite to say.

I think the hardest thing for me will be watching my wife enduring such ‘intensity’. Another part of the Fall I am not looking forward to experiencing.

So am I all prepared? Can you ever be?